Jeanne said that God designed us for ONENESS, not SAMENESS. What is the difference between ONENESS and SAMENESS?
Why is it so hard for us to take responsibility in relationships?
In Romans 2, we read that “God is kind, but he is not soft”. What does this mean? How do you see God holding those two things simultaneously?
Where do you struggle with blaming others instead of taking responsibility for yourself? How will you improve in that this week?
In 40 years of marriage, Warren and Nancy have learned the importance of owning what is theirs to own. They both remember a significant turning point around the birth of their second child, Johanna.
“During that year, we got off of the same team. We were competing for any shred of rest or alone time,” Nancy remembers.
Warren says, “It put a serious question on the table of who’s going to sacrifice or give up time that’s related to profession or ministry. There was a tug of war.” He took a step back to analyze who needed to devote more time to work in that season and realized that his wife was in a pivotal moment in her career. “I had to take a step back. It required soul searching, prayer and discussion.” This meant Warren had to battle his own feelings of insecurity in order to be a more loving partner during this season. “You get a good sense of your self-worth from productivity. Devoting more time to parenting… that has a delayed response. You’re not gonna see that outcome immediately.”
Since that era, the balance of work and home has shifted again and again. Nancy says, “You realize that everything happens in seasons. There are times when you have to allow the other to dig deep and flourish. It’s a back and forth. When you’re first married, I don’t know if you realize that this is a long journey made of a gazillion little decisions.”
These learnings from early on in their partnership have deepened their ability to support each other through new challenges, including COVID. For Warren, as an introvert, quarantine life has been… well… not all that hard. But Nancy is struggling without more human contact. They know from experience they cannot meet all of each other’s needs and they have freed each other up to take responsibility for their own fulfillment. Warren says, “I’ve learned to feel joy when she involves herself in activities that breathe life into her.”
“He’s freed me to have as many friendships as I want to have!” Nancy laughs. “If you’re gonna have any joy, you have to come to a place of acceptance. You have to love who you’re in relationship with and stop trying to change them to be who you want them to be.”
Going deeper into transformation
Jesus, would your kind hand lead us to repentance today.
Forgive us for how we blame and skirt our responsibility
Forgive us for the ways we take righteousness upon ourselves instead of fall into your gracious righteousness.
Jesus, I know there are some relationships that need your healing today.
Won’t you do it. Won’t you cleanse.
And clear and bring renewal.
We love you and our trust is in you.
A quick message for those joining us in person this weekend:
Recently, the CDC shared new guidelines for wearing face masks in public and in indoor settings to promote safety in areas with substantial risks of transmission. Therefore, we are requiring that masks are worn while in the building on Sundays.
We are continuously reviewing the CDC guidelines and what our next steps will be – as your safety remains our priority.
