What has been your experience with boundaries in relationships?
What is the difference between a healthy YES or NO, and an unhealthy YES or NO?
What do you feel God has a created you for? Or what has God called you to do? How does that calling guide what you say YES and what you say NO to?
What or who do you need to say YES to this week? What or who do you need to say NO to?
Like many of us, Sherisse is learning to set boundaries for herself in the virtual space. “In the beginning, it was harder to put boundaries in place because you wanted to have some kind of connection with people,” she remembers. “People like me who live by themselves, with no dog, no kids, no cat – you’re craving something.” But as the months wore on and the line between work and home grew thin, Sherisse had to start being more clear with her yes’s and no’s. “I realized I had to put some type of limitation on this. I can’t just be on a computer all day and all night! I got Zoomed out.”
She is moving from being over-committed and showing up half-hearted and sometimes late, to being more discerning with her commitments. “Now I’m ok to say ‘I just might not make it.’ or ‘Can we do this another time?’ I’m really searching my heart to make sure I can stay with a commitment because I don’t want to be half-present.”
But there are a couple of enthusiastic yes’s that she has been able to make recently. “One thing that has been a blessing to me has been the small groups,” Sherisse says. “That was a period of time when I could have sat by myself in my place but I would rather have this connection with like-minded women where we could engage and support each other.”
Some members of her small group were there when Sherisse said another big YES to baptism, just a few weeks ago. “I was like – wow! This relationship, this bond, this support all happened in a virtual setting.”
Sherisse had wrestled with being baptized again as an adult, not sure when would be the right time. She loves serving on our Production team and baptism weekend is always a highlight. “It’s one of my favorite Sundays on Production and literally, if I have travel planned, I will plan to get back and make sure I can be there.” With our scaled-down baptism, the production demands were a bit simpler which freed Sherisse up to say yes to the longing bubbling up in her spirit.
What else helped her say yes? “Early this year, someone brought up that the products made available to return to the world after getting baptized didn’t cater to everybody. Example: I used to straighten my hair and I was concerned about what I would do with my hair after getting baptized. Water would undo what I’d done and I kinda still had the same concern since going natural. But this time, I was looking at the table and noticed various products for all hair types – it made me feel comfortable because someone else had taken care of my concern and therefore took care of me.”
Heavenly Father, you are the God who says YES.
You are faithful. You keep your promises. You follow through, every time.
Help me this week to be faithful and trustworthy with my YES
Just as you are
You are also the God who says NO.
You say NO to evil, to injustice, and to sin.
You set up the boundaries of this world for human flourishing
Help me to live by those boundaries this week
Even when it means giving a clear, healthy NO
God, you have created and called me for a purpose
Holy Spirit, reveal that purpose to me more and more clearly each day
And allow what you have spoken YES over in my life to establish the boundaries in my relationships, in my work, and in every area of my life
Jesus, just as you said YES to me on the cross
I give you my YES today
Alright. So, maybe you’ve listened to the entire teaching from this week, and you’re still not convinced that boundaries are a spiritual matter. Or maybe you just want to dive a little bit deeper into where and how this idea shows up in the Bible itself. Or maybe you’re just looking for something to read on your lunch hour. Regardless, I hope you’ll read on and be encouraged.
What if I told you that one way to understand the entirety of the Bible is to view it as a story about the boundaries between God and humans…and between humans and each other? If you don’t believe me…gimme a minute to explain.
The opening words of the Bible describe the earth before creation as “formless and empty”(Genesis 1:2). This means that the world was essentially without order or…boundaries. Therefore, one could argue that the entire creation account of Genes 1 and 2 shows God establishing the boundaries of the universe for creation to exist and flourish within.
Fast forward a little bit. When humans come onto the scene, God establishes a boundary with Adam and Eve. “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die” (Genesis 2:16-17). Of course, we know that Adam and Eve did not listen to this command. They disobeyed God, thus ushering evil and death into the world for the first time. So once again, you could say that the origins of sin in the world are a result of humanity being unwilling to accept and live within God’s boundaries.
Don’t worry, we’re just getting started. Through the first five books of the Bible, we read what the biblical authors call God’s “Law”. This Law started with the 10 commandments, but then expanded to 600 other commands for his people to follow in relationship with him. If you take a moment to think about it, the Law is an expression of boundaries for God’s chosen people to live within in order for them to flourish and set themselves apart as his holy, chosen people.
Little bonus here…Obviously, God’s chosen people are unable to live by the boundaries of his Law perfectly. They fail, just like us, many times. And so in the middle of your Bible, you find the prophets. Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and on through to Malachi. Most of us usually skip these strange, poetic books. So I’ll give you a one sentence overview of what is happening in the prophetic writings. These books are essentially a plea from the prophets to God’s people to return to God and live within the boundaries of relationship with him. (Are we sensing a theme?)
Of course, like we said, no human was able to live by the boundaries God had set up, until God himself becomes a human in Jesus. After living a perfect life, on the cross, Jesus took our place of isolation from God, and gave us a way back into healthy, restored relationship with God.
And then, you could argue that the rest of the New Testament is the early church wrestling with one question, “What are the healthy boundaries that a community of faith should live by in order to love God and love our neighbor best?”
The concept of healthy, life-giving relationships, and the boundaries (the yes’s and no’s) that lead to them are not something God is silent on. Boundaries are not something God is against. This is something God has been active in, and speaking to, and working towards from the very beginning.
I hope this was helpful,
Jon Jorgenson
A quick message for those joining us in person this weekend:
Recently, the CDC shared new guidelines for wearing face masks in public and in indoor settings to promote safety in areas with substantial risks of transmission. Therefore, we are requiring that masks are worn while in the building on Sundays.
We are continuously reviewing the CDC guidelines and what our next steps will be – as your safety remains our priority.
